noahjdesclian

So I had the brilliant idea of writing on this site again.  Recently I've been reading short quips of books in the morning, and I thought some of them were pretty good for discussion.  Who knows if anyone discusses things on these sites, or if most people just post and are happy that others are reading what they think.  Well, if you're reading this, then stop if you're not going to say even a few short sentences at the end!  I'd rather hear other people's opinions than myself babble on and on.  I get enough of that already sitting around under trees :D.

Anyway....

So I've been reading "Yours, Jack" by C.S. Lewis; mainly it's a bunch of published letters to his friends and colleagues.  One responds to his old-time and long-time friend Arthur Greaves (hot name, there), who had mused in a prior letter (apparantly) about whether or not God contains evil.  Lewis ends up saying 'he does' and 'he doesn't,' and gives the following analogy:

"Suppose you are taking a dog on a lead through a turnstile or past a post.  You know what happens.  He tries to go the wrong side and gets the lead looped round the post.  You see that he can't do it, and therefore pull him back.  You pull him back because you want to enable him to go forward.  he wants exactly the same thing-namely to go forward: for that very reason he resists your pull back, or, if he is an obedient dog, yields to it reluctantly as a matter of duty which seems to him to be quite in opposition to his own will: though in fact it is only by yielding to you that he will ever succeed in getting where he wants."

I assume anyone who doesn't understand what 'obedient' means in the Christian sense will miss the point of this and focus too much on humans being compared to dogs.  All I have to say to that is that in dogs is a trait called 'loyalty,' a trait in humans that shows up in only the most noble and decent of characters; even dogs can teach us something.

But back to what Lewis said.  Later in the letter, he says, "The truth is that evil is not a real thing at all, like God.  It is simply good spoiled.  That is why I say there can be good without evil, but no evil without good.  You know what the biologists mean by a parasite-an animal that lives on another animal.  Evil is a parasite.  It is there only because good is there for it to spoil and confuse."

Lewis also talks about how in every evil or horrible thing we do there is a goodness that is just ill-expressed.  I think this is all very interesting, and amazingly practical (if I can use that word).  It assumes that there is a good and a bad, first of all (a big step for most people nowadays it seems), and really shows a very good way to think about things we feel guilty about or know are bad.  Looking for the good in bad situations isn't just looking for the 'silver lining,' but instead it's searching for what is truly there inside of us.  "Bad" or "being a jerk" or "doing something stupid" is just us getting confused about what's really going on inside of ourselves.  We're all here trying to, almost obsessing over, express what we don't understand, what lies inside of us and at the heart of the universe, really.  People can slap a paintbrust against a wall for days, but until they actually try to express that thing they're not going to start making art.  Talking to people is just rattling off our wants and needs until we sit down and listen, and then try to both express what we hear inside and also understand that everyone else is just in the same boat.

The other day Mike McCaffery gave me a good quote (sorry if I mess it up a bit).  It's about chess and goes something like, "I started winning decisive games when I realized that not only was I scared of losing, but the other guy was too."  A correlary to this would be: "You can only really, truly live if you not only understand while you're trying to express the unexpressable, but everyone else in the world is too."

Well, there are some thoughts, muffled around a bit since I thought them.

First Christmas in three years in New Jersey!  Some odd feelings all wrapped into everything and such, but things are going well.  Watching The Polar Express with my father (or half watching it) at the moment...strange that the only other time I watched it was when I was in Japan and the dialogue was all in Japanese.  Either way, it's good to see it all, and good to be here. 

Things are going well...

Well, I'm back in New Jersey at my parents house, trying to figure out how wireless works so I can start downloading anime again (supposedly it's a no-no when you're on a college campus).  So yeah, if anyone wants to hang out, I'm back and I'm ready to get into things again :)

What a week.  Saw Helene every day since Tuesday (yes, that is a commands ;D) and had a blast.  Also got to see Mike and Todd a smidge :).

News, though, is that I'll be back in New Jersey on the 15th of December and I'll be staying.  A few problems with acadamia popped up, and I have to think things through before I keep on going.  I might even stop going period, though I'm not certain.  Either way I'd do it up in New Jersey, not down here in Georgia.  It's an odd thing to think about, living in New Jersey again, but I've got some good people behind me, and I think it'll be good :).

"I'm not trying to copy Nature.  I'm trying to find the principles she's using."
-R. Buckminster Fuller

Such is the road :)

Of course, all my thoughts have already been thought by others:

The rowan's mythic roots go back to classical times. Greek mythology tells of how Hebe the goddess of youth, dispensed rejuvenating ambrosia to the gods from her magical chalice. When, through carelessness, she lost this cup to demons, the gods sent an eagle to recover the cup. The feathers and drops of blood which the eagle shed in the ensuing fight with the demons fell to earth, where each of them turned into a rowan tree. Hence the rowan derived the shape of its leaves from the eagle's feathers and the appearance of its berries from the droplets of blood.

The rowan is also prominent in Norse mythology as the tree from which the first woman was made, (the first man being made from the ash tree). It was said to have saved the life of the god Thor by bending over a fast flowing river in the Underworld in which Thor was being swept away, and helping him back to the shore. Rowan was furthermore the prescribed wood on which runes were inscribed to make rune staves.

In the British Isles the rowan has a long and still popular history in folklore as a tree which protects against witchcraft and enchantment. The physical characteristics of the tree may have contributed to its protective reputation, including the tiny five pointed star or pentagram on each berry opposite its stalk (the pentagram being an ancient protective symbol). The colour red was deemed to be the best protection against enchantment, and so the rowan's vibrant display of berries in autumn may have further contributed to its protective abilities, as suggested in the old rhyme: "Rowan tree and red thread / make the witches tine (meaning 'to lose') their speed". The rowan was also denoted as a tree of the Goddess or a Faerie tree by virtue (like the hawthorn and elder) of its white flowers.

There are several recurring themes of protection offered by the rowan. The tree itself was said to afford protection to the dwelling by which it grew, pieces of the tree were carried by people for personal protection from witchcraft, and sprigs or pieces of rowan were used to protect especially cows and their dairy produce from enchantment. Thus we find documented instances as late as the latter half of the twentieth century of people being warned against removing or damaging the rowan tree growing in their newly acquired garden in the Scottish Highlands and Ireland. On the Isle of Man crosses made from rowan twigs without the use of a knife were worn by people and fastened to cattle, or hung inside over the lintel on May Eve each year. From Scotland to Cornwall similar equal-armed crosses made from rowan twigs and bound with red thread were sewn into the lining of coats or carried in pockets. Other permutations of the use of rowan's protective abilities are many and widespread. In Scandinavia, rowan trees found growing not in the ground but out of some inaccessible cleft in a rock, or out of crevasses in other trees' trunks or boughs, possessed an even more powerful magic, and such trees were known as 'flying rowan'.

Rowan has had a wide range of popular folk names, the most well-know being mountain ash. Its old Gaelic name from the ancient Ogham script was Luis from which the place name Ardlui on Loch Lomond may have been derived. The more common Scots Gaelic name is caorunn (pronounced choroon, the ch as in loch), which crops up in numerous Highland place names such as Beinn Chaorunn in Inverness-shire and Loch a'chaorun in Easter Ross. Rowan was also the clan badge of the Malcolms and McLachlans. There were strong taboos in the Highlands against the use of any parts of the tree save the berries, except for ritual purposes. For example a Gaelic threshing tool made of rowan and called a buaitean was used on grain meant for rituals and celebrations. The strength of these taboos did not apply in other parts of Britain it seems, though there were sometimes rituals and timings to be observed in harvesting the rowan's gifts (for example the rule against using knives to cut the wood, mentioned above).

The rowan's wood is strong and resillient, making excellent walking sticks, and is suitable for carving. It was often used for tool handles, and spindles and spinning wheels were traditionally made of rowan wood. Druids used the bark and berries to dye the garments worn during lunar ceremonies black, and the bark was also used in the tanning process. Rowan twigs were used for divining, particularly for metals.

The berries can be made into or added to a variety of alcoholic drinks, and different Celtic peoples each seem to have had their favourites. As well as the popular wine still made in the Highlands, the Scots made a strong spirit from the berries, the Welsh brewed an ale, the Irish used them to flavour Mead, and even a cider can be made from them. Today rowan berry jelly is still made in Scotland and is traditionally eaten with game.

What better way to warm up on a chilly Friday night than to sit down under my Marlow-blanket and read a good bit of Snorri Sturluson's Prose Edda?  Well, maybe a few things (like sitting in front of a fire reading the POETIC Edda), but I think I came across something interesting.  And hey, maybe some of you can fill me in if you know anything about tree symbolism in Norse, Old English, or Celtic...or anywhere else really.

Well, anyway, there's this poem that Tolkien wrote that one of the ents since (ent = giant trees that can walk and talk).  All the orcs are cutting down the forest for kicks (teh jerks) and this particular ent is really enraged about it.  He sings a song that goes like this:

O Orofarne Lasamista Carnamirie (I might have spelled these wrong...but check out the nice use of the invocative "O" at the beginning :D)
O rowan fair, upon your hair, how white the blossums lay
O rowan mine, I saw you shine upon a summer's day
Your leaves so light, your rind so bright, your voice so cool and soft
Upon your head how golden red the crown you bore aloft
O rowan dead, upon your head, your hair is dry and grey
Your crown is spilled, your voice is stilled, forever and a day
O Orofarne Lasamista Carnamirie

Man I love that poem.  I memorized it while sitting at work in Japan with nothing to do, hoping that memorizing something would get my brain working again.  Anyway, so I was reading the Edda tonight, and came upon some interesting things.  Tree words in Old Norse are sometimes pronounced the same as other words that are used poetically to refer to people.  For instance, 'rowan' is pronounced the same as "one who tries," and "willow" with "dealer, giver" (as in 'giver of mead in the hall').  That seems pretty interesting.  In another section, Thor (we all know Thor!) pulls himself out of this mad horrible river by grabbing onto a rowan tree.  Just what is it about trees, and rowan trees in particular, that means so much to these people?  I'm not sure, but I really want to find out.  Somehow (probably through the poem quoted above), I got caught on something deep within...well, something.  I feel like something from the poem, from the word, from somewhere is calling to me.  No, not that a tree's trying to speak to me, but that there's some 'truth' in all this, something important, something I want to find out.  I wonder what it is...

My Sunday mornings have turned into a sort of "half-church:"  I usually either walk around through the forest near here and ponder some spiritual idea or I sit down with a book and give a chapter a good read and some good thought.  There's no "community" in it, which makes it kinda not all that church-y, but hopefully I can get someone to discuss things if I put something up here.  Who knows.  Either way, I have a good quote from a book I'm reading by teh John Paul II (who was a really brilliant man, would have been nice to have known him).  Anyway, here's a quote from the chapter on "Forgiveness and Reconcilliation"

"Forgiveness, in its truest and highest form, is a free act of love.  But precisely because it is an act of love, it has its own intrinsic demands: the first of which is respect for the truth."

\/\/007 to that.  The thing I like about this is the way "free" is used.  Forgiveness is a free act, but it also has intrinsic demands.  But how could something be demanding if it is a free act?  That's where the interesting thing lies.  Freedom isn't just doing what you want to do, and forgetting everything.  Free to act on whatever you feel like doing and forgetting everything.  Freedom requires though, consideration, and, in this quote, respect for the truth.  Bah, getting confused with words, so TO THE OED!

"2. Exemption from arbitrary, despotic, or autocratic control; independence; civil liberty."  (first used in 1375 in this sense)

The 1st definition of "freedom" was about being released from slavery, etc, but this one is interesting in that is is exemption from not just any control, but from a specific type of control.  The first is arbitrary, or "subject to individual will or judgment without restriction; contingent solely upon one's discretion."  So basically not being under someone else's whims and will which.  Anyone's single will enacted on others is against freedom, I suppose that means.  The second is despotic, or a douchebag controlling someone else.  Autocratic is "like an autocrat; tyrannical; despotic; domineering."  I love using a word to define itself...but tyrants are douchebags too, so we're on the same paige there.

And what does this all mean (besides that I like wandering around in dictionaries)?  Freedom isn't easy, that's what I think.  I haven't much of an idea what it is, but I don't think "freedom" and "non-existence" are the same, you know?  Just sitting around not doing anything isn't freedom, it's laziness.

Huh, don't know where all that came from...I think I remember hearing someone saying that freedom is "not doing anything but what you want," but that kinda goes against the defintion...not that that means anything, but still.  Freedom's a bit more tough than that, you know?

A game Helene and I played.  We wrote up questions and then had our randomizing music players "answer" them.  Hers was much better, but I thought I'd put it up anyway, just for kicks.

Music and Song Game
-------------------

1. What kind of profession will you have?
Dahlia - X Japan

2. What's the title of my autobiography?
An Old Irish Song - Suikoden

3. What are my child's first words?
The Piano Duet - The Corpse Bride

4. What's my personal motto?
The Atomizer - Final Fantasy 6

5. What song sums up the past year?
NOrthern Lights - Megumi Hayashibara

6. What's written on your tombstone?
Believe - Live

7. What's the title of the next gazelle article I'll write?
Make you Feel Better - Red Hot Chillie Peppers

8. What's the future of Crescent Luna?
2nd Stage - Kids Alive

9. If I had a free day, what would I do?
Sleeping Wolves - Wolf's Rain

10. What should I say to Steele the next time I see her?
The World - Hack Sign

11. What will my future house be like?
Moonlight Shadow - KOKIA

12. What should I shout at Pat's wedding?
In Your Mind - Hack Sign

13. What will Flik's next catch phrase be?
Passion - Siam Shade

14. What should my next charact's personality be?
Ongaku - Maya Sakamoto

15. What is some good advice for me?
Ibuki - Yoshida Brothers

16. What is my current theme song?
Beautiful Dreamer - Glay

17. What does everone else think my current theme song is?
Emerald Sword - Rhapsody

Well, I'll be going up to New Jersey for this Thanksgiving.  I thought it'd be more fun that hanging around in town for five or six days on my own, even if it DID give me a ton of time to get a bit of studying done.  I have two papers on topics I don't really care about to work though, but, well, I need to get out of town anyway.  I went up to the hills in northern Georgia, North Carolina and Tennisea...who do you spell that.  Whatever (linguistics are descriptive, NOT prescriptive).    It was beautiful, and quite a sight to see, finally, the Appalachian trail of the southern states.    The forests there reminded me of Lothlorien, with the malron trees, all yellow and looking like golden sunlight.  BUT, as I began this, I'll be in New Jersey for Thanksgiving, seeing my family :).

Well, I'm trying this livejournal thing again...I had one a bit ago, while studying abroad in Japan, but it didn't go all that well.  I always wonder "who reads these things."  Aparantly everyone, actually.  Who knew?  But Helene thought it'd be fun if I set up here as well.